SCORE: 1. Write question that pertains to your experience of the block? 2. Mutual clarification mentoring with partner to get the question more clear (spoken dialogue) 3. Rewrite question, and refer to its importance to you and your research. 4. Comment on other person's question from the point of view of your research (1 time) 5. Common writing session: bird's eye outsider view: what is the common ground of these researchers?
Chloë: How to be with that what's already there? Observing without judgement and working with that observation beyond judgement. How to go through the difficulty.
Rewriting the question: How to be with that what's already there? How to go through difference, conflict? How to go through difficulties together, knowing none of us has the answer or holds the truth. How to be in muddy places with everything that we have. (Embodying lived experiences.) Not having to know or do more. How to let networks, knowledge and experiences from participants/entities (buildings, objects, nature,...) emergence and inform/influence/guide us through.
Question in connection to myself: This works on many levels for me: How to be with climate collapse? How to fall into this collapse, not knowing how to 'solve' 'it'. How to live with people and be in a community together when we all have very different perspectives on the outside world? How to give in to a practice a teacher proposes? How to let yourself be informed in ways that are 'new' to you, and keep finding energy to return back to it, even when you know these people don't know this is 'the right thing' to do. Nobody knows what's the right thing to do. Why then, do I do what I do?
Question in connection to my research: In my research I am looking at building network through relationships. Relationships with people, and the more than human world. How to be with everything that is inside this network? And how to be with everything that is in everyone inside this network? (Mapping the networks of every member of the network.) The environment is so often the passive scenery of man's adventures. Being with the living environment doens't just bring beauty. It also brings sorrow, love, sadness, rage,... All the feelings, really. Sensing, sensing, it can teach me much. Caretaking to the outside and in. As an infinite move of attention: looking out and looking in. Going in the mud more, looking inside yourself more deeply. (I don't know what I'm writing anymore) Building relations in muddy grounds is not so much about going towards, but also going within.
amy on chloe how does this relate to me and my research chloster?! Now I am drawn to the last paragraph I have read because I can still see it while writing, ha! I love the mud. My old studiomate has a 3yr old child and she told me that she fights her build in desire to stop him going in the mud because that's a very controlling thing to do, to disallow someone to get dirty if they want too. And then he gets completely filthy and comes inside from the garden crying because he has mud in his eyes, ears, nose and mouth and his feet are wet and cold because his tiny shoes got stuck in some big pool of mud. But he is sensing! I connect very much to feeling and sensing. I have this question for a long time - how can the senses be a part of learning - when I am thinking about formal education methods. It's like we forgot that we are a huge sack of gooey cells when we designed how to teach ourselves. I'm not sure if I want to use the senses to make networks or relationships between humans, or between human and none human animals, but instead to recognise that there are connections already there. Maybe I am searching for a way to present how our actions deeply implicate and effect the lives of others. Like climate collapse. I share with you a big topic, colonial infrastructures and capitalist domination of tech giants and big data (need a snappy title haven't found it yet sorry!) so I would very much chime with these thoughts that incite doubt, depression, useless-ness, futility - Nobody knows what's the right thing to do. Why then, do I do what I do? - I feel like I am trying to answer similar questions from others; what is the point? why does it affect me?
Nat- How does absense direct presence, possibility, practice? What are practices engaging with absense that expand the space, or materials, for relating(moving) together? Image: there is a tension between us, we reach our hands into the void, and pull something out that we can use to understand each other.
For me, "what am I missing?" Comonally directs my attenion, propelling me towards areas that I lack that I feel need attending. There is a sort of irony present here, I feel something that I lack, yet if I feel the thing then it must be right there in front of me. There is a pretense of assumption that causes a split, an avoidance, of something that is not not there. A wanting it to either be fully present of fully gone. How we relate with the absense not absense, or direct ourselves, or dance with this is quite important. In this block i felt the participants engaged the tactic of lets not talk about the tension, lets not show up, there emerged a fear around the potential conflict of what it could mean to see it. And then finally it was seen, and we began to move. It was seen via a simple question, a space making, listening action, "how do you feel." here the simplicaity came from a lack of criticality, and acceptance that what one feels is valid. This acceptance critical helped to move us, to create space, to establish new conditions for meeting.
For my research: only 5 minutes left now, lets see... In my mentorings, an approach has emerged, a reqeust for mentors to put their hands in my research, to see the gaps, the places my ego misses and somehow to open it up. Often this occurs as a suggestion of potential boundries or conditions. In my work i'm trying to find ways of engaging with a simple external task, that I am bound to which ask as a boundry or counter point.
Chloe on Nat What is not there? I discoverd a small area in the woods of Solwaster through my senses. And by doing so, many things that I didn't perceive at first appeared. I believe we both think that 'many more things' are present in each moment. Knowing that you're not knowing something (or not perceiving something) has the ability to make you move. Missing something: it be information or connection can become a huge place in itself of creating information and connection.
Lacking something, or knowing that you lack is, is actually a great way of connecting in a network. To let others come into your space and see with new perspectives. As when you put different sheets of transparent paper on top of each other (like Fede Vl did during HWD). The negative space of one drawing, get's filled up with the drawing of someone else. Making new connections, drawing new images.
I wonder about the negative place, like a mold of your research. For myself I'm thinking about the mold of a forest. What's in there? What's in the mold of my co-loc? What would we be able to find in the mold of our a.pass group? Making the negative space visible, or, adding negative space to the visible?
FedericoP: What are ways to (en)compass all the things that emerge during a block into the research? Abundance VS abandonment? What emerges from this juxtaposition?
what emerges for me? What emerges for my research?
Maybe i have a desire for abandoning? There is a lot of abundance in my work, and in my research and often i feel overwhelmed by it. Like what string to follow, which strings to weave into a braid? Braiding. I like braiding, recently i started braiding my hair into two tails, or braids. There is something very primordial about braiding your hair, it seems an act of the prehistoric time, a way to adorn yourself without any adornment, you need nothing but ur long hair and something to tie (or u fix it with the hair itself). Interesting that Bjork used the hair-braid-artworks of the artist Shoplifter for her Medulla album cover. Its an album composed entirely from human voices and sounds coming from the body. Just like the braid itself: sounds and in this case composed sounds, music, created only with what we got. So in this string of thought bjorks medulla could be her most “primordial fashion album”??? Why do all these thoughts come up right now? I am sitting in a.pass and we are doing this question asking, writing, answering score and i believe it is the first collective 20 minute period where everyone is writing and thinking, all together at the table. no talking, how beautiful and peaceful. I love it, i desire this more. Why do i feel more and more that i need a tighter framework to structure my work. We are reaching the end of the block and all i feel is a strange notion of confusion, compasslessnes if you will. the compass, the tool which tells in which direction to go, where is north. To know where is north, we also need to know where is east, and where is south and west. knowing maybe not, not knowing. But south east and west are essential for knowing where is north (or of its existance). So for me the idea of encompassing in my research, is not to embrace everything, but to let co exist, to let breath, to know with this notions of research come all these other things along, which, maybe, don’t need to be tackled all within the research. But they are entailed. They need to exist, and i need to know of their existence, so that i can also know in which direction to go. Thats surely very wise and all-knowing, to know all the heavenly directions of the research. And i am not sure i know them all, i am quite sure i dont know them all and also i am sure that they are manifold (the directions). A map would be helpful in this case. I need to figure out ways of mapping.
shit, i didn’t answer any of these questions. well yes, the above mentioned relates more to my research. what emerges for me? I feel always a bit lost, not lost, thats is not the right word. i am always going in some direction or another, i am very directionious (???) but it is because i am seldom standing still. maybe the idea of settlement is just over, the new reality is the cozy unsettlement. the cozyness of being non settled. ugh ... 🤦🏻♂
ah yeah abandoning something, to be able to abandon something, you need to kind of own it, or at least be aware of the things existence, i guess. i question if abandoning is always in a negative context. if i travel north, am i abandoning south east and west? if i had a map to hold on to, i could also maybe hold these other ‘places’ without feeling overwhelmed by their amount (abundance) ?
Elke on Federico:
To abandon, to let go, to become lighter on the way. Abandon, also, as giving in to something, Enjoyment, pleasure, letting go of the self. In deep abandon, you let go of fears. You are no longer bothered with boundaries and directions. You no longer need a north, a south and a west. Funny how these two questions come together: to find direction, and to struggle with abandon. I know see there is an interesting collision happening in this text between abundance and abandon. overflowing and giving over. so in contrast with the need for structure. or not. it sounds very much like the impossible paradox of the monk's life. to order life to such a degree that you are able to abandon, to let go, of what seems most precious to you. to the abundance of daily life without ornaments. What is a map for research? if not showing the way to a destination exactly. how to abandon a sense of direction while still using the map? i resonate with that. as i resonate with absurd territories to travel, or nonsensical maps. the road that is not so much a road as it is a maze. of threads left by others. spun out of temporary truths. experiences. longings.
Elke: What is real? In my (life) practice what is the ground to decide on the realness of what emerges. When can I consider something to really be there, to be of value to be taken into account? Is the real a 'durable' category? In the sense of: is it a stable category, or only existing in the moment? expansion: In the mentoring with Chloe what came up as important is the difference between 'real' and 'truth': something can be real in someone's experience, but not necessarily the truth (thinking about conspiracy theories f.e., or emotional trauma that is not necessarily based on 'facts' of violence). truth as a category of ideological logics, and real as a category of undeniable experience. What does this question mean for me? In response to the question 'why do something rather than nothing" or 'why to act in the world if all 'truth' is temporary and relative', what do i base my decisions on. the 'real' in my personal life is a moment of clarity-in-connection, something shifting undeniably, a moment of affect, an event. for this realness to translate to truth, there would have to be a framework to categorise this event and give it value. which at this point means that i am probably more interested in being real, than in the truth. in connection to the research? the fact of realness was an important question for me. how have the new 'truths' engendered 'real' experiences in contemporary bodies. and vice versa, how have these initial experiences (of suppression, ...-) been turned from situated experiences to general truths. or again, how have political untruths come to be experienced as hyper-real, by sheer repetition and the hijacking of people's existential and always-already-existing anxiety. how is the new truth a translation of a deeply hidden fear that there is not truth out there anyway. in 'the body keeps the score' bessel van der kolk speaks about traumatized bodies that carry a 'real'experience in them that caused the trauma, that spark off in all different directions, creating 'truths' that are not revealing but rather obscuring the 'original' event (the 'real' event). is that somehow translatable to the greater political-social context?
Tulio on Elke: The connection that I might encounter with my research is the necessity to stablish a 'real' engagement with the materials that I encounter. In this sense, the real would not be what is there, outside of me, or what is it that was produced 'inside' myself, but how the process that I stablish with the material can be an 'honest' one. So I believe I'm associating the real with something that makes sense to a particular person in relation to their experience, and the honesty/clarity of the engagement that one stablishes with what is around. The real for me is less connected with the actual facts around an outside event, but with the process that I develop in my research.
If I were to displace the question towards the historical dimension of my research, maybe the idea of the real would be informed and framed through the experiences and narratives that I want to support/push forward – which is already defined by an ideology and an political agenda. The real in this case is that which is situated in somebody else's experience that have the power/potencial to displace the way in which we (broadly, the ones that encounter it) understand certain historic events and how this understanding can influence the way in which we act on the world.
AMY: Amy: How to make artwork that resonates, not only within the group of people where it was made, but with other different social groups? expanding the question What is resonate? Affect (in psychology: The felt or affective component of a motive to action; the incentive, as opposed to the inducement or in Spinoza's philosophy, a modification at once of the psychic and the physical condition, the former element being called an idea and the latter an affection.) Resonate is then, for me, to do something that incites an idea to act. Not apathy or indifference. BUT resonance is not something you can measure, and probably should not try! And, before resonance you must in fact reach people. Is the question then more about reach and connection, or a framework to carry a resonating artwork out to other people, in a way that they will want to interact with it? what does this question mean for me? I'm not entirely sure how to answer that because I made the question regarding my thoughts and artistic practice, so in a way it means everything to me. Not that I would like to take myself so seriously! It means everything for me why ... mmmm ... I am very preoccupied with the idea of audience in my work, while at the same time having the idea that nobody pays attention to me. I like this. I like being in the background and I love listening to other people. Social choreographies fascinate me, while at the same time giving me a lot of anxiety. So perhaps I am using a creative practice as a method to work through something that threatens me (or at least I perceive it to) Can you be the dichotomy of a sociable loner? what does this question mean for my practice? Thinking about audience for me is how to plan a shared experience, a workshop, a way to engage in a material. How does an audience watch / listen / feel a performance work. How do they read your words? How do they touch your costumes? How do they access your references? There are so many sensual and intimate ways to assemble these things. Reach, if we replace this with resonate, is to make something that more people than my immediate community (artistic / choicefully displaced / freelancer / detached) I used to use the mode of education and pedagogy to try and enlarge my reach, but I dont feel comfortable about how to do this in an artistic practice.
Nat on Amy:
Okay, whew. so there is reaching people, or providing an opportunity for people to see, feel, desire, and connect to. For me people choose to connect with something because it resonates with them, there is some mirror neurons that fire either physically or psycicly that cause relatedness which could then allow one to engage. For me this applies to my research in that I too am thinking through ways of feel the resonance or connection between me and a spectator, or even me and an appariton. Perhaps the resonance is somehow always there, a potential for shared soemthing, a line that goes from an idea in my head to one in yours, and it's my job then to feel with that, to travel it, build upon and ellabroate it. If it's a string then to play this music, strum like a harp sending vibrations into the minds of the other. And not only that, but the resonance then becomes the site of the meeting, not the materials intially proposed to find such resonance. Ie, it's not about what I came to show or teach you but more about what happened meanwhile. I dont know much about phenomonology but it pops up in my head. What is this resonance, who are we in this moment to each other? Or pehaps the materials themselves relate with the spectator and the job then is to feel through the materials the resonance and elaborate or explore there.
Tulio: What are the limits of the discourses/practices we engage with and how do we address/work with them? How can we engage critical discourse in a generative way?
How can we, in the a.pass environment/community, recognize the limits of the discourses and practices that we engage with, and explore them in a generative way?
For me this question emerges from the reading sessions we had, specially in the confrontation with the text Cynical Theories which proposed to point out the limits of a certain critical discourse in a very specific instrumental way.
In my research, I’m often engaging with practices and thoughts from different disciplines and contexts, so to think about the limits or boundaries that they might contain is a way of understanding/situating their affect in relation to the research project, and by extension, the potential affect it might have on the ‘subject’ of the research (the thing that it proposes to discuss/address/question). But this is also a way of mapping more carefully the set of relations that each of those materials or ideas or practices can stablish with other materials/ideas/practices. I think what might be important for me here is to understand that what we propose is powerful in certain contexts, but doesn’t constitute a general approach that can be easily displaced or applied in different contexts without the work of situating it.
Federica on Tulia: I am intrigued about the term ‘limits’. it reminds me of lines, which mark the ' consistency' of something, they are spatial and territorial, they show the beginning/end of something, in fact, a border. limit is border somehow. And this is a very interesting notion we have mutual in our researches, i think we are both in a way or another intrigued by borders: what even is a place? how can we measure those places, temporalities, symmetries, analogies, how can we archive those places, photographs, documents, how do we encompass all these inputs and moments into our “maps” (archives?) i was just writing about maps before. that i feel like i urgently need a map.
I am not sure there are limits to the discourse. What would be such a limit? And why are limits necessary? Do these limits produce the space where we can explore them in generative ways? forgive me for my plain and basic questions.
I want to focus on the term ‘address’ also, this is also directional and if you will cross-limitation-ous, cross-bordering, your address is the information others need to know so they can find you, but also so they can send you something, goods, informations, etc. ‘addressing’ becomes transitory, an act of reaching out from where i am over limits, borders, towards a recipent.
BIRD'S EYE OUTSIDER
Unsteady relations: The researchers seem to have a particular interest in connecting to the outside world, as if balancing on a melting gletsjer. There position seems to be unstable, on the verge of collapse. Theirs is a strong desire to relate, to reach out, to other. But it seems that this reaching out is not an easy undertaking. There are elements, that are not clear to me, that seem to prevent these writers from reaching out. Do you think those elements come from within them?
this group of people, if they are people (they could be machines) seem self-consiously (I'm not sure it's self conscious, they really love thinking about themselves) preoccupied with themselves. There is a desire to connect to the world around them but they appear tentative to do so. This desire intially appears forced by the shared context they inhabit. They sound like avid collectors, of not only material items, references, ideas, but also of things that cannot be held onto - presence, mud, truth, hairstyles, borders, attention - but still they try. If you visited their house and opened up some cupboards a lot of weird shit would fall out, and then they would rush around picking up all this stuff in their arms while telling you it was their creative practice. Collecting items as a creative practice. Identifying collected items and seeing what resonantes, which of course implies one takes them out of the cupboard and bring them into the field. do you think it is important to take the action? of taking things out of the cupboard? now it starts to sound like we are outdatedly talking about sexuality.that is the closet no? this one seems a little higher up the shelve...the cupboard is also just like a container non? ouiii! maybe we can go away from the idea of the heros, the ones who take the things from the cupboard to take the action but honor the ones who collect. but collecting for what?OMG LOLheeeei there Ursulaaaaa.
Territory, border, maps, areas, fields,... What of this is true? These writers seem to be searching for steady ground, perceivable borders and directions. Or at least some indication that would say that what they're doing makes sense.
CONNECTIONCONNECTIONCONNECTION to find what one does, is e/affective, to find value in what is being done. borders implying territory implying worth and even existance, what is a thing without a border? you tell me. I feel a desire to prevent falling out, redirection of attention towords...something. An other which can help solidify what the fuck is hapening here. a way to escape the echo chamber. specificty is desired. to feel like it belongs, or to understand where it belongs, or if it belongs, and therefore what it might belong to. I WANT TO MATTER. maybe they do too? If it matters, its real. If you agree with me, if we resonate, then it's true, and hasn't art sort of always been about truth(: . [-_o_/-]
What is interesting is how many different things can be used in order to connect something private to something public, micro with macro, insides and outsides, a variety of in and outs. So, besides the necessity to establish connections, there is this tendency to belive that this is made through very specific things (hair, mud, thruth, borderlines, maps, breathing). There is an attachment to things that are specific but are not specific in the end because translate to many different things that are around.
There is indeed quite a remarkable lack of specificity in these practitioner's texts. No reference (almost) to concrete projects, materials, procedures. The questions seem not so much to pertain to the work itself, as to the philsophical/ontological field that produces the itch to make it. If i did not know from the introduction that they were artists I would never have guessed. Where did the art go? What got in front of it, or what is it hiding behind? Maybe it doesn't exist (yet)? No it definitly existed. Maybe it hides behind the words? Language as pharmakon: Language here is used like a treacherous tool. If i imagine them handling 'it', i see them holding it away from their bodies, tentatively waving it, like a stick, in all directions. More like a spelling practice, less like a descriptive tool. They seem to hold on to the belief that Language might turn around and bite the hand that is producing it. Both seductive and appaling. Full of abandon, but to be handled with great care...
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Border is a very attractive word, apparently. Border as connection, the place where 2 things meet (there is a linguist that lives in the border between Brasil and Uruguay that talks about the language of the border, how the Portuñol have evolved there, and the importance to talk about borders as places of connection, and not of separation.)whats this guys name? It is a woman, but memory has failed to retain her name.