(PRE-NOTE 1) This are my notes of the walk between Nicolas and Lili in relation to our 'performative publishing' trajectory. These walks are vehicles to explore different conditions of context, performativity, discursivity, relationality and dialogue. Every walk has a designated (Q)uestioner, (A)nswerer and (O)bserver. All of us can propose a 'way' - let's say a score - to do the walking, the talking and the observing/listening.

(PRE-NOTE 2) Lili (Q), Nicolas (A) and myself (O) met at the crossing just in front of Wiels, after Nicolas' proposal to check out the community vegetable garden where he is part of. I brought in two ideas/conditions/scores for the walk:

(1) 'I want to try out to take a bit of physical distance from the two of you. I think it's important for you to have an intimate space, that is not physically desturbed by a 'third person'. Besides, most pavements don't allow us to walk alltogether in a line anyway. :)' So I would like to make a call to one of you - put your phone on mike and earplugs - so I can follow your conversation from a distance. I have a notebook and a pencil with me, so I'll be a silent witness to your conversation, walking on my own speed.'

(2) 'As Lili requested not to take too great physical exercise, I would propose you to walk very, almost unbarebly, slow. I'm curious how this slowness effects the conversation and the general speed of this exercise.

What follows is my rough notes, in the order as they appeared. The start was quite chaotic, as the sounds of the city and the wind were interferring with Lili's questions. In between the notes I made some sidenotes (this template doesn't allow to put them 'on the side', so therefor I put them in between the rough notes):


Explanation to go from work to... Need to re-understand what performance is. I missed being comfortable in being in front of people and the whole economy of it. I asked myself the question 'What does my performance actually do?' I needed a different understanding of the world. I also started disliking going to performances myself. I lost sense. I had the feeling I had to reconsider the modus of performance in itself. What is work (in artistic sense), more than a neoliberal economic model. I became self- critical on my own position in this model and the big question arose: 'how to 'use' performance as a research frame to collective understanding and learning?'

(SIDENOTE) I take a little break of noting. We're walking around the corner of Avenue du Pont de Luttre and Rue du Charroi, I stop for a moment just before the bridge, I hear the conversation of Lili and Nicolas through my earplugs while my eyes are cought by the vista along the bridge, where I see two cooling towers of the nearby nuclear power plant. I can feel Nicolas and Lili distanceing. When I turn my head they are disappearing behind some bushes, so I start walking again. I hear Nicolas making a distinction between a 'mis-en-scene' and the 'mis-en-discours'. Is what we are doing a 'mis-en-discours'? The position of silent witness - connected through phone with their conversation - triggers my engagement of an outsider eye - and ear. And I know that I'm the only, unique, spectator of this in promptu performance, staged as a micro-triangulation of roles. I notice that my experience of being on distance, is contextualised by the liveness of my surroundings and the distance between me and them, where I decide how much tension I put on my attention. Like a long elastic rubber band that keeps us together.

In the UK I studied the side effects of artistic practice. As much side effects as possible. (giggling). Distorting the relationship between the research and the institution. Approach to not see the institution as a power structure.

(SIDENOTE) I'm seeing their conversation in it's context.

The inappropriateness of the use of power is becoming unbearable. How can we deal with -or position - these powers as possibilities and respeonsabilities. We can see people coming into A.PASS pointing fingers at these power structures. Even at the instutional frame of A.PASS itself.

(SIDENOTE) I'm thinking back of my presentation at Zsenne in July. I'm wondering if I'm one of those people that point fingers. And what are we then pointing at.

Radically. Rethink. Relationships. Reformulate.

(SIDENOTE) A family walks by and starts a conversation in French. They seem to explore the area and are curious what is there. Nicolas offers them a stroll through the community vegetable garden. An informal chat about vegetables and the area's industrial past follows. I'm listening to this little theatrical intervention from behind a bush, looking over the train tracks on the other side of the road. While the lock on the gate rattles and the visitors enter, I'm trying to understand how the fence of any institution can be permeable by just one simple generous gesture. What is needed to renaturalize these grounds? Then the woman makes a remark on this adventurous sidetrack they are taking. My own voice - reverbing on Nicolas microphone - echoes in my ears as I enter the garden.

rename me

We are curving around trying to catch the point of it. Ecology-economy and the arts: somewhere in between was to lie the future. How to remain within the ‘art market’. The art market versus the art’s ecology. Pessimistic perspective. What is necessary to give up to find a different relationality?

(SIDENOTE) I smell cut grass.

Stimulating a discourse between two or three people is already great. On a political level we have little effect. Framing something as ‘art’ gives it power and at the same time it close something off. How can we broaden different spectra. How do we recognize something as art? How is what you’re transmitting to someone actually landing? For ‘real’ effects to happen, do we first need to agree on a frame-work of meaning?

(SIDENOTE) I like that the questions that appear while listening, merge with Lili’s questions while writing. Is this functional as an iterative discourse? A cadaver exquis of noting? Iterative discours. IN the making. IN the performance. A notebook as a way to witness something. We have an audience that notes down it's w

(will continue later)